I call it normal

I figured out what it is I'm trying to do, here (again). Ever since that comment from awesboss yesterday, I've been reflecting on exactly how deep I want to go. When I wasn't coming up with anything on my own last night, I turned to the only book ever written and found the answer:

Student: How is it done?
Teacher: There is no 'how' here. Just keep in mind the feeling 'I am', merge in it, till your mind and feeling become one. By repeated attempts you will stumble on the right balance of attention and affection and your mind will be firmly established in the thought-feeling 'I am'. Whatever you think, say, or do, this sense of immutable and affectionate being remains as the ever-present background of the mind.

S: And you call it liberation?
T: I call it normal. What is wrong with being, knowing and acting effortlessly and happily? Why consider it so unusual as to expect the immediate destruction of the body? What is wrong with the body that it should die? Correct your attitude to your body and leave it alone. Don't pamper, don't torture. Just keep it going, most of the time below the threshold of conscious attention.

a poem by a close friend

This person is too shy to put up a journal and share this stuff with us, but I was moved by its intensity and thought I'd share it here.

I want to sleep with someone I love.
I want to sleep with someone who loves me.
I want to wake up late the next morning and find him still in my bed with an arm flung over me.
I want someone who'll race home on his lunch break just to make love with me on the kitchen floor.
I want to walk down the street holding hands.
I want to go to the movies and snicker over popcorn.
I want someone who can't believe his good fortune of having found me.
I want to introduce to all my friends the beautiful man I've fallen in love with.
I want someone to keep a toothbrush in my medicine cabinet.
I want someone to think about me when I'm not there.
I want someone who'll kick and scream at the thought of losing me.
I want someone who's passionate and occasionally gets angry at the universe for what it serves up.
I want someone who understands when I get angry at the universe, too.
I want someone to leave notes in the pockets of clean laundry.
I want someone to NEED to call me if they're feeling rotten.
I want someone who is moved just to love me.

To-do list as a ground of sanity

Thank you, list.

Without you, I would lose track of my appointments, I would forget past conversations, and I would not be prepared for what's coming up next.

Having you here in front of me, a canvas ready to be marked upon, helps to keep me grounded; it helps to keep the multiple connections to the world intact.

Maintaining the integrity of those connections is the norm. It's the natural way to be. There is no other way we could be, other than in the natural way we are. However, none of those connections in and of themselves is important. Discovering what is the nature of this connection versus that one, of this relationship in contrast with another; these are not important discussion topics in The Ultimate Debate. I say this now, because at one time, most of my energy went into contemplating those topics. In retrospect, I find that they actually sidetracked me from realization.

I know, it's all just talk. Sitting here talking about it cheapens it just as much as what I'm talking about does. But that's why I'm here, talking and writing and looking for people who share this understanding, however you wish to describe it. I'm here to figure out how to express the reflection of my mind to you, and to reflect back your own, as well. Indeed, for someone to recognize that the reflection in which we see each other is simply a reflection of God itself.

I am I am
I am I am
I am
I am

white noise

emptiness

void