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looking beyond
Sep. 27th, 2001 12:02 amHe sat cross-legged on the floor opposite his teacher. "I'm still confused," he said. "I've dedicated so much time to my study and my practice, yet I still don't feel any different. What is the fundamental difference between you and me?"
She smiled. "There's no difference that I can see."
"There must be some basic difference," he replied. "After all, I came to you because you're enlightened - you didn't come looking for me."
"Who says I'm enlightened? It's only because you imagine that there's a difference between us that you think you're sitting with someone who's enlightened. Those are your words, not mine."
He leaned forward eagerly. "But you are enlightened! You know the Truth, and I know I don't know the Truth yet."
She grinned at him. "Have you ever heard me say that I know more about this "Truth" than you do? I don't claim to know anything that you don't already know yourself. In fact, I probably know much less than you do, with all of the study and practice you've done."
He shook his head violently. "No way. I know nothing compared to you. Just listen to the way you said that - it totally proves my point: your humility, your experience of the Absolute - every aspect of your demeanour is like a direct reflection of God."
She laughed out loud at this. "Oh, come on, now, I don't know what you're talking about. There's no difference between you and me. My life is a succession of events, just like yours is. The only difference is that I don't attach any real significance to those events, while you do. I see the unfolding of life's events as the picture show they are, while you hang on to these things and move along with them."
He took a deep breath and leaned back, in awe. "How did you become so detached?"
She rubbed her nose and thought for a moment. "I don't know," she said offhandedly. "Nothing in particular. All I really did was pay attention to my own teacher. She told me that I am nothing other than my self, and I believed her. In trusting her, I acted in accordance with that, and eventually I stopped worrying about what was not me or mine."
His voice jumped by almost an octave. "I can't imagine being able to understand that so easily! Those words sound so enlightened to me, but I know I don't really understand what you're saying at a truly cosmic level. You clearly have some sort of a gift."
"I don't buy that for a second," she said immediately. "It just worked out that way for me. Nothing really happens for any particular reason. And you know, even if it did, what would that matter anyway? You might think that I'm some kind of an enlightened being, but that's only your own opinion, and you can change your opinion any time you like. It would be just as easy for you to think that I'm some kind of new-age flake or something. You can't attach any importance to opinions - even your own."
He pressed on, undaunted. "Still, you are different. Your mind always seems to be quiet and happy. You're always at peace with yourself and the world."
"Sure, my mind may be quiet, but what does that matter? And what does that really mean, anyway? I don't have 'my own mind' that's 'quiet and happy!' There is a consciousness in which everything happens - everyone has experienced that. But you're not looking carefully enough at what's beyond that so-called 'quiet mind.' Quiet mind, stormy mind: it makes no difference. The mind is not who you are. You have to look deeper - more carefully - to see what I see."
He uncrossed his legs and pushed himself further forward. "And what do you see?"
She gave him a tender smile. "I'm not seeing anything that you couldn't see for yourself if you just focused your attention a little differently. Your mind is cluttered all the time with thoughts, philosophy, and ideas - but do you ever just think about your own Self, and nothing else? You can only study these thoughts and ideas and constructs so much before they become totally meaningless. You can watch yourself, and observe how you function, what you're doing - you can watch your own motives for your actions and observe the results of your actions. You can study forever this world of random things, people and ideas that you have inadvertently constructed for yourself. But if you go beyond all that and break through those constructs, you will eventually understand that they are not your true self. Once you know what you are not, you will eventually know your self. You'll understand only that you are, and nothing else."
He looked confused. "So are you saying that the world is imaginary? Is this all a dream or something?"
"You have to be careful when you use words like that. 'Reality' is not imaginary, it just is. But by definition, reality cannot merely be a product of your own little mind. Even the sense 'I am' is transient; it's helpful as a pointer, as a means to focus the mind, but that still won't really show you what you are. However - and this is important - once you are convinced that you cannot truthfully say anything about your Self other than 'I am,' and that nothing that can be pointed at or seen can be your true Self, then the very need for even 'I am' is over - you no longer need to verbalize your own existence."
She took a sip of water while he considered this. When she spoke again, her eyes were on fire. "Once you lose this obsession with your body, your mind, enlightenment, and all that, you won't be able to help but to spontaneously and effortlessly revert to your natural state. The only difference between us is that I am aware of my natural state, while you are looking for your natural state. We differ in appearance, and by how we are each projecting our selves externally. But these appearances are not really US - they're not who we really ARE."
She smiled. "There's no difference that I can see."
"There must be some basic difference," he replied. "After all, I came to you because you're enlightened - you didn't come looking for me."
"Who says I'm enlightened? It's only because you imagine that there's a difference between us that you think you're sitting with someone who's enlightened. Those are your words, not mine."
He leaned forward eagerly. "But you are enlightened! You know the Truth, and I know I don't know the Truth yet."
She grinned at him. "Have you ever heard me say that I know more about this "Truth" than you do? I don't claim to know anything that you don't already know yourself. In fact, I probably know much less than you do, with all of the study and practice you've done."
He shook his head violently. "No way. I know nothing compared to you. Just listen to the way you said that - it totally proves my point: your humility, your experience of the Absolute - every aspect of your demeanour is like a direct reflection of God."
She laughed out loud at this. "Oh, come on, now, I don't know what you're talking about. There's no difference between you and me. My life is a succession of events, just like yours is. The only difference is that I don't attach any real significance to those events, while you do. I see the unfolding of life's events as the picture show they are, while you hang on to these things and move along with them."
He took a deep breath and leaned back, in awe. "How did you become so detached?"
She rubbed her nose and thought for a moment. "I don't know," she said offhandedly. "Nothing in particular. All I really did was pay attention to my own teacher. She told me that I am nothing other than my self, and I believed her. In trusting her, I acted in accordance with that, and eventually I stopped worrying about what was not me or mine."
His voice jumped by almost an octave. "I can't imagine being able to understand that so easily! Those words sound so enlightened to me, but I know I don't really understand what you're saying at a truly cosmic level. You clearly have some sort of a gift."
"I don't buy that for a second," she said immediately. "It just worked out that way for me. Nothing really happens for any particular reason. And you know, even if it did, what would that matter anyway? You might think that I'm some kind of an enlightened being, but that's only your own opinion, and you can change your opinion any time you like. It would be just as easy for you to think that I'm some kind of new-age flake or something. You can't attach any importance to opinions - even your own."
He pressed on, undaunted. "Still, you are different. Your mind always seems to be quiet and happy. You're always at peace with yourself and the world."
"Sure, my mind may be quiet, but what does that matter? And what does that really mean, anyway? I don't have 'my own mind' that's 'quiet and happy!' There is a consciousness in which everything happens - everyone has experienced that. But you're not looking carefully enough at what's beyond that so-called 'quiet mind.' Quiet mind, stormy mind: it makes no difference. The mind is not who you are. You have to look deeper - more carefully - to see what I see."
He uncrossed his legs and pushed himself further forward. "And what do you see?"
She gave him a tender smile. "I'm not seeing anything that you couldn't see for yourself if you just focused your attention a little differently. Your mind is cluttered all the time with thoughts, philosophy, and ideas - but do you ever just think about your own Self, and nothing else? You can only study these thoughts and ideas and constructs so much before they become totally meaningless. You can watch yourself, and observe how you function, what you're doing - you can watch your own motives for your actions and observe the results of your actions. You can study forever this world of random things, people and ideas that you have inadvertently constructed for yourself. But if you go beyond all that and break through those constructs, you will eventually understand that they are not your true self. Once you know what you are not, you will eventually know your self. You'll understand only that you are, and nothing else."
He looked confused. "So are you saying that the world is imaginary? Is this all a dream or something?"
"You have to be careful when you use words like that. 'Reality' is not imaginary, it just is. But by definition, reality cannot merely be a product of your own little mind. Even the sense 'I am' is transient; it's helpful as a pointer, as a means to focus the mind, but that still won't really show you what you are. However - and this is important - once you are convinced that you cannot truthfully say anything about your Self other than 'I am,' and that nothing that can be pointed at or seen can be your true Self, then the very need for even 'I am' is over - you no longer need to verbalize your own existence."
She took a sip of water while he considered this. When she spoke again, her eyes were on fire. "Once you lose this obsession with your body, your mind, enlightenment, and all that, you won't be able to help but to spontaneously and effortlessly revert to your natural state. The only difference between us is that I am aware of my natural state, while you are looking for your natural state. We differ in appearance, and by how we are each projecting our selves externally. But these appearances are not really US - they're not who we really ARE."
