For Christ's sake

Isn't anything happening? I'm soooo ready for this baby to be born, I swear. I live my entire life in this psychic limbo of nothingness in action, and to be perfectly honest, I'm hungry for some new activities. I'd say I need to get out more, but what the hell would I do "out"? The extent of my interest is to the buffet at the Chinese restaurant down the road. Chicken balls and pina colada ice cream. Ooh, baby.

I might start doing even more yoga. I understand how monks can spend so much time doing asanas and meditation; there's not much else to do with your mind in this state. The time drains into a void. Like one of those water-filled sausage-snake toys that keeps rolling and slipping through your fingers, time collapses in on itself continuously: neverstartedended. Just like the moment.

(no subject)

http://www.livejournal.com/users/iamom/day/2002/01/03

court transcript

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

I feel like I've asked this question before, but...

Who the hell is using LJ from Afghanistan? The stats page says that there are 721 journals there.