On the music biz

This recent post in The Lefsetz Letter is ranty, but cutting, in its synopsis of what's wrong with music today. Granted, that's a major theme of his blog in general, but he's a very credible source and has some interesting things to say. Here's an excerpt:

CDs are in free-fall. This week sales were off 22.8% from last year’s numbers. That’s front page news in my book. But somehow, it’s not on the very first page of the "New York Times" or the "Wall Street Journal", the newspapers of record. And if it were, Warner and EMI stocks would tank. For Wall Street, which does not read the "Billboard Bulletin", seems out of the loop.

Recorded music sales are now a joke. If you’re an act, unless you make Top Forty music that would benefit from TV exposure and terrestrial radio play, in other words unless you make mainstream pop or hip-hop music, WHY BOTHER WITH A MAJOR LABEL? They’re not interested in artist development. Hell, EMI won’t EXIST by time you put out your SECOND album, never mind your third or fourth. You want to get caught in that vortex? Where contractual hassles, being tied-up in merger/downsizing/bankruptcy, will kill your career?

All this talk about Apple’s dominance with iTunes, DRM, per track prices…IRRELEVANT! Every band is now a cottage industry, charging at a different point in the food chain. In other words, the music is the loss leader, the taste, that gets people in the door.

Oh, it didn’t HAVE to be this way. If only the majors had legalized P2P, had been willing to stop fighting to preserve their distribution monopoly. I mean what difference does it make if you own the CD sphere if the CD sphere is CRUMBLING?

Canadian-born hit songwriter/producer David Foster was interviewed by Nora Young on The Arts Tonight last night, and he works for a record label now, and he backed up some of what Lefsetz says here. He says that without some major changes, many of the major record labels will simply be gone within a few years. His prediction was that CDs will be the cost of a Big Mac within the next two years (two years?) and that there will be a whole paradigm shift in music distribution.

I think the paradigm shift has already happened. Whoever isn't satisfied with the musical pablum being poured down their throats on commercial radio and music TV is probably knowledgeable about what they like, and they download it for free on BitTorrent. The rest don't give a shit about music at all and never have, and they probably only buy one or two CDs a year.

numerous clean (but still funny) sex jokes

I don't actually believe that these quotes can all be accurately attributed to the names provided in this joke I received via e-mail. But several of these are pretty funny.

---

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
--Lynn Lavner

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
--Matt Barry

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--George Burns

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other e eight are unimportant."
--George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships"
--Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson

" Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
--Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
--Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams