Top 30 Facts About Chuck Norris

[iamom]

My cousin Marc just sent me this link, and even though I'm not a huge Norris fan or anything, I thought that the writing was great. Very funny hyperbole -- I dug it. Here's the full list of Top 30 Facts About Chuck Norris, but my faves are below:

-- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
-- If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris.
-- When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
-- Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse -- horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
-- If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
-- Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because he is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
-- To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
-- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

One other funny thing about this is that after reading the whole list, I found that the words "Chuck Norris" stopped making any sense. That ever happen to you when you read a certain word over and over and over again? I remember that happening for the first time in my childhood. It was like my first koan -- I contemplated a certain word so hard and for so long that its meaning seemed to disintegrate before my very eyes. As I recall, the first word that happened to with me was the word smile.