lack

[iamom]

emptiness is a hard thing to write about
the zen poets and masters have such beautiful, perfect metaphors to describe it
I have nothing but a bag of chips and a chocolate cookie

but I can say this:
there's a moderately floating quality, or at least flowing
and sometimes it almost feels sad, or at least a bit melancholy

one moment I'm stuck in the muck of my activity
in the frustration that something's not working or in the joy that it is

the next moment I'm suddenly aware that everything is whole and that I'm okay
that the frustration is an energy fizzled out, a mental construct (same with the joy)
that nothing is really happening
that there is only I AM
that I am nothing in a void of emptiness without quality
and that everything is okay

I take a deep, slow breath and bow my head
I relax my muscles and my breathing
and I am...

om