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Both of these came from my dad. He seldom sends jokes at all, so I made it a point to read them.
A blind man enters a butchy lesbian bar by mistake. (He'd been looking for a straight-up corporate lesbian bar, but he accidentally made his way to a leather bar instead. What can you say? The guy was blind.)

He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender in a loud voice, "Hey bartender, you wanna hear a 'dumb blonde' joke?"

The bar immediately falls deathly quiet.

In a deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

One: The bartender is a blonde woman.

Two: The bouncer is a blonde woman.

Three: The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional boxer.

Four: The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Five: I'm a 6-foot, 200-pound blonde woman with a Ph.D., a black belt in karate, and I have a very bad attitude. Now, think about it seriously, mister. Do you still want to tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, then shakes his head and says: "Nah, Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
ba-dum bum *crash* Good one, good one. Also this photo, perhaps not work safe, depicting the new carry-on restrictions for flight travel.

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Dustin LindenSmith

January 2013

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