existing, consciousness, reflection
Oct. 15th, 2000 12:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
iamomSun 15 oct
I'm going to force myself to write about this. I've noticed, in the past month, that I've lost interest in reading any books or magazines or articles other than those which address directly Self-realization. This has begun to lead me deeper into an *experience* of Self-awareness, inasmuch that nothing apart from abidance in the Self is of real interest to me anymore.
This doesn't mean that I'm disinterested in my own Human existence, as much as it is an acknowledgement that my own existence is but an electrical, physical manifestation of my Self.
I told C last week that I felt I wasn't long for this world. I meant, by that, that I know that whatever I DO or SEE or FEEL or EXPERIENCE in this life is nothing but a ripple on the ocean of my Self, and of Consciousness itself. Just living in the world with this realization in hand seems redundant to me, even without taking into account any ego-sense.
I think that my mood swings arise from a slipping in and out of that awareness. I felt myself sliding down into a bad mood earlier today, and I think it came about from a lapse of awareness of Self. I was happy all day yesterday, and I also felt fully seated in Peace for the whole day.
I'm trying to make my every thought, word, and action a deliberate reflection of Self. It's the only way I can reconcile my Life in this world: by making it a living tribute to the Self.
No - tribute is the wrong word. I think I mean reflection.
I'm going to force myself to write about this. I've noticed, in the past month, that I've lost interest in reading any books or magazines or articles other than those which address directly Self-realization. This has begun to lead me deeper into an *experience* of Self-awareness, inasmuch that nothing apart from abidance in the Self is of real interest to me anymore.
This doesn't mean that I'm disinterested in my own Human existence, as much as it is an acknowledgement that my own existence is but an electrical, physical manifestation of my Self.
I told C last week that I felt I wasn't long for this world. I meant, by that, that I know that whatever I DO or SEE or FEEL or EXPERIENCE in this life is nothing but a ripple on the ocean of my Self, and of Consciousness itself. Just living in the world with this realization in hand seems redundant to me, even without taking into account any ego-sense.
I think that my mood swings arise from a slipping in and out of that awareness. I felt myself sliding down into a bad mood earlier today, and I think it came about from a lapse of awareness of Self. I was happy all day yesterday, and I also felt fully seated in Peace for the whole day.
I'm trying to make my every thought, word, and action a deliberate reflection of Self. It's the only way I can reconcile my Life in this world: by making it a living tribute to the Self.
No - tribute is the wrong word. I think I mean reflection.
