jokes

[iamom]

You are a "Child of the 80's" if...

You know what "Sike" means.
You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off."
You know that another name for a keyboard is a "Synthesizer."
You can sing the McDonald's Big Mac, Filet-o-fish, quarter pounder, and French-fry song.
You know who Mr. T is.
You know who Fat Albert is.
You ever wore fluorescent, neon clothing.
You could breakdance, or wish you could.
You wanted to be Hulk Hogan for Halloween.
You believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power!"
Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away.
You thought that Transformers were "more than meets the eye."
You knew that knowing is half the battle.
You wanted to be on Star Search.
You can remember Michael Jackson when he was black.
You wore a banana clip at some point during your youth.
You collected garbage pail kids.
You knew what Willis was "talkin' 'bout."
You know who said "Rut row raggy" and "Zoinks."
You HAD to have your MTV.
You actually thought "Dirty Dancing" was a REALLY good movie.
You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.
You owned cassettes.
You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the moon and Rosie would be doing the housework for you.
You remember and/or owned any of the Care Bear Glass collection from Pizza Hut or the Muppets glasses from McDonalds.
Poltergeist freaked you out.
You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins, ET, Dukes of Hazard, Knight Rider, Strawberry Shortcake, Pac Man, or A-Team lunch box.
You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female Smurf.
You know what leg warmers are and probably had a pair.
You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish.
You wore your Izod shirt with the collar up.
You had a Swatch Watch with the Swatch Guard.
You're sometimes tempted to say to people "I know you are but what am I?"
Your Lego collection started with the free set from your Happy Meal.
You remember when Happy Meals came in a box.
You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
You know who Max Headroom is.
You had Wonder Woman or Superman underoos.
You know what a "Push Up" ice cream is.
You had to come in the house when the streetlights came on.
You had to change into *play* clothes after school.
You owned, or knew somebody with a Commodore 64.
You hated Scrappy Doo.
You recorded songs off the radio with your boom box.
You wish you had a light saber.
Somehow you still know know's all the words to songs played on VH1's Big 80's.
Your arm was full of rubber bracelets.
You wore jelly shoes even though they gave you blisters.
You have ever said, "Gag me with a spoon."
You have ever wondered what happened to Saturday Morning Cartoons.
You had to get up to change the channel.
You can still sing 1 to 12 from the Pinball machine on Sesame Street.
You consider Pig Latin to be your second language.


The All-Time Dumbest questions asked by visitors to Banff Park in Alberta.

1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing" signs?
2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose?
3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?" Park Information Staff: "'Elk'" Tourist: "Oh!"
4. Are the bears with collars tame?
5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?
6. Is it okay to keep an open packet of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent?
7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?
8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today . Could you tell me what it was?
9. Are there birds in Canada?
10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?
11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?
12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?
13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?
14. If I go to British Columbia, do I have to go through Ontario?
15. Which is the way to the Columbia Ricefields?
16. How far is Banff from Canada?
17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day?
18. Do they search you at the B.C. border?
19. When we enter British Columbia do we have to convert our money to British pounds?
20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one, don't they?
21. Are there phones in Banff?
22. So it's eight kilometres away...is that in miles?
23. We're on the decibel system you know.
24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost??
25. Is that two kilometres by foot or by car?
26. Where do you put the animals at night?
27. Don't you Canadians know anything?
28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?" Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom". Tourist: "Oh!"

Oh, and someone letting off some steam with some Bin Laden photos here.