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Jan. 21st, 2001 10:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
iamomSun 21 Jan
I feel like I'm burning up. Like I leapt up into space, and I'm burning up upon re-entry. I feel like I have the whole power of the universe concentrated in the tips of my fingers; with fingers touching and thumbs pointed into my chest, I am a great white flame that blinds you into awareness with one glance.
My train has jumped the track and derailed into the void. The world is still visible from here, but it sits in a different light now. Everything is different, perennially the same.
Yet not, somehow. I feel like I've changed, but more like I've changed out of my personality and into what is actually real; I know my natural state of being, and it's the only place to be, right now and forever.
Life is becoming so simple. I can't stop myself from seeing into everything I'm involved with. When people tell me stories, I no longer hear the stories, but rather hear the truth hidden within and between the words. With practice, I suppose this could be developed into a psychic ability, but I have no interest in that.
Actually, I have ceased to have any real interest at all. I try to live out my dream as vividly and as well as I can, but it is not the real ME who is making the decisions, eating the sandwich. I've tried experimenting with re-attaching the emotions to the Self, but it's really no longer possible. The personality might be feeling one way or another, but the consciousness itself is uncoloured and unaffected by the experience. Only stands to reason, I suppose.
If awareness of Self permeates fully the conscious mind, has the personality passed from "intuition" to "knowing?" If I know or can see no other way than wei wu wei, is the Understanding sinking deeply in?
The love and the warmth keep expanding. Come, stand closer if you're chilled.
I feel like I'm burning up. Like I leapt up into space, and I'm burning up upon re-entry. I feel like I have the whole power of the universe concentrated in the tips of my fingers; with fingers touching and thumbs pointed into my chest, I am a great white flame that blinds you into awareness with one glance.
My train has jumped the track and derailed into the void. The world is still visible from here, but it sits in a different light now. Everything is different, perennially the same.
Yet not, somehow. I feel like I've changed, but more like I've changed out of my personality and into what is actually real; I know my natural state of being, and it's the only place to be, right now and forever.
Life is becoming so simple. I can't stop myself from seeing into everything I'm involved with. When people tell me stories, I no longer hear the stories, but rather hear the truth hidden within and between the words. With practice, I suppose this could be developed into a psychic ability, but I have no interest in that.
Actually, I have ceased to have any real interest at all. I try to live out my dream as vividly and as well as I can, but it is not the real ME who is making the decisions, eating the sandwich. I've tried experimenting with re-attaching the emotions to the Self, but it's really no longer possible. The personality might be feeling one way or another, but the consciousness itself is uncoloured and unaffected by the experience. Only stands to reason, I suppose.
If awareness of Self permeates fully the conscious mind, has the personality passed from "intuition" to "knowing?" If I know or can see no other way than wei wu wei, is the Understanding sinking deeply in?
The love and the warmth keep expanding. Come, stand closer if you're chilled.
