Jul. 16th, 2000

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Sun 16 Jul

I think I was trying to prove a point to myself back there. I was trying to convince myself not to overanalyze the situations in my life, and not to become so obsessed with whether or not my life is proceeding according to plan. Duly noted, self.

There is an interesting internal dialogue in progress. I wonder if everyone undergoes this dialogue with themselves (without being declared schizophrenic). This all seems to spring from the idea that when you give advice to someone, you're usually giving it to yourself. What that has meant to me lately is that it's time for me to start taking control of my own destiny.

But I recognize that I need to be more action-oriented and specific about that. If I need to leave RDI to get out of this rut, then I need to get to it and find a new job. I am doing that, kind of. Trying, anyway. It's always just a matter of time with me, until my database is fully designed and ready to populate with live data.

Ahh, data... That blood, that life force that bonds the theory of computers with their processing mechanisms. I want to leave behind a legacy of an artistic imprint of information architecture. Dance of the database servers; development of comportment and protocol; the exchange of the emotional rush of information, back and forth, back and forth.

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Dustin LindenSmith

January 2013

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